


Uh.

by swwaggy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Comedy, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Daddy Kink, M/M, Sex Dreams, Sibling Incest, im so sorry, j e s u s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 05:19:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2416364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swwaggy/pseuds/swwaggy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What could he say? Those cotton polos are comfy as hell. But Dave liked them not for the aesthetic, but for the light scent of man-pain, doritos, and sexual tension."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Uh.

Dave returned home from a scorching hot day underneath the Texan sun and his brother/famous porn star/dj was lazing away on the couch, wearing nothing but a bedazzled ten gallon hat on his head. "Howdy." he drawls, accent THICK AND PRONOUNCED. "Uh." Dave replies, to which Broderick smirks, and its his signature Strider smirk. The world famous smirk that graced many a computer screen across the nation. Did we mention that Bro did porn. Because he does porn. Meaning he's experienced. Anyway.

Dave couldn't help his eyes being drawn over Bros sCULPTED, TANNED FRAME, muscles built up to perfection from years of strifing in the sun. He has a few scars on his chest and arms, and they could be described with one whole paragraph that is coming next, because they're /really/ hot, we swear.

"So, what brings you 'round here?" Bro continues, taking a lazy swig from a beer bottle before he sets it on the table, to which Dave scoffs. "I live here, brokeback mountain." and this prompts a swift eyebrow raise that is just barely visible from over his scalene shades. The ones he never takes off, ever. Bro showers with these things on. He sleeps and masturbates with these things on. 

What a douchebag. 

"Hm. Don't see you payin' any rent." Now they're suddenly talking about money for a few paragraphs, with some sort of backstory about how their supposed parents died and Bro was irresponsible with his spending and subsequently they aren't multibillionaires for the sake of the story. The poverty sets the mood, trust us.

Dave mirrors his older brother's expression, and all he does is let out a short chuckle in response. It rumbles in his throat, like a lawnmower starting up. (How would you know that, Dave? You're a poor kid living in the city. What is a lawnmower. What is grass.) "Don't have a job." to which Bro responds "'That so? Looks like you're gonna have'ta start pullin' your weight 'round here, Dave."

Complete enunciation wasn't Bro's thing. He was too ironic for that. Dave's heart skips into overtime at the implications of his words. This is it. Everything his hormone-addled mind has been fantasizing about ever since he hit puberty. Bro was coming onto him. He had to have been.

Except Bro wasn't coming onto him. This was another one of those dreams that Dave dreaded waking up from. He bursts upright in bed, drenched in a light sheen of sweat, with what felt like the atlantic ocean in his boxers. Oops. Dammit, Dave. Not again- ever since puberty he'd been having dreams about his deviously-attractive-pornstar-DJ-professional weeaboo-older-brother, and while they were as hot as *some reference to the texan sun*, they were riddled with guilt. Sexy, sexy, guilt. Dave jolts in place as there was a knock at the door, and he nearly falls off the bed, and he just happened to be wearing one of Bro's shirts that he stole the night before. What could he say? Those cotton polos are comfy as hell. But Dave liked them not for the aesthetic, but for the light scent of man-pain, doritos, and sexual tension.

Bro strides into the room with a burst of glitter, and he's covered in hickeys. Dave couldn't help but notice (with LOTS OF ANGSTY JEALOUSY) that his brother looked like a fucking cheetah, but that was none of his business. "Sup, lil' man?" He asks, towering over the bed (He's so tall. All those legs and Dave with no brakes) and crossing his arms from where he stood. Dave was literally in Bro's shadow at the moment, and here's some sort of angsty metaphor about the dynamics of their relationship, and how Dave was desperate to make Bro proud, but at the moment, he just looked like an idiot. "Is that my shirt?"  
A creepy idiot. 

"Uh. Yeah. Oversized shirts are the new thing-" Dave tries to brush it off and delve into a conversation about hipster fashion, but a flush spreads over his cheeks that matches the GLISTENING RUBY OF HIS EYES, and Bro instantly knows he's attracted to him in under a few seconds of observation. "It suits you." "W-what?" "Lets have passionate sex." "Welp." Who was he to turn him down???

Dave's a total virgin, but that's okay, there's lube and condoms in his bedside table because in Boy Scouts they always taught him to come prepared. Also to make puns whenever he saw fit. Bro descends to the bed gracefully, and his hands were quick, skilled, and he could totally make sick beats with the noises Dave made because he was a famous DJ, remember? Clothes came off with literally no effort. No effort. He undid his pants with one hand, like. No effort at all. Were they wearing socks and shoes this whole time? Who knows! That isn't being described at all. What IS being described is how Bro, a grown man, managed to fit in a tiny pair of lacy silk panties wITH RED TRIM SO YOU KNOW ITS REAL. Crossdressing is hot so Dave nearly melts at the sight. 

Suddenly the virgin Dave has a daddy kink, and he says that word once and Bro growls (kinda like that lawnmower again) and it was going down. No time to take it slow. Lube? Check. Condom? Gay sex is nature's condom. Next. Theres lube fucking everywhere. It's like a goddamn water park. One finger, two fingers. three fingers, oNE WHOLE PENIS. Then theres some super angsty description of how Bro passionately admits how long he's wanted Dave for, and Dave is flabbergasted that somebody as great as his older Bro would even bat an eye at him. (Bro sleeps with everyone, btw. He's just THAT hot.) Then Dave starts to feel that texan heat /DOWN THERE/ and he mOANS BROS //REAL// NAME, DIRK, AND BRO COMES JUST FROM THAT BECAUSE THATS SO HOT AND THEN THEY BOTH INSTANTLY FALL ASLEEP WITHOUT SHOWERING AND THE NEXT DAY THEY GET NOISE COMPLAINTS FROM THE NEIGHBORS.

_fin._

**Author's Note:**

> it took me three days to write this original work do not steal


End file.
